I have been thinking a lot about looking into fertility. It has been three years and in April I will have been in Utah for 5 years. Meaning we can do foster care. On the other hand we have insurance now that covers infertility. We could go in and see what the problem is and fix it. We would have another baby that was 100% ours. Or we could do foster care give a child a home and family who loves them.
One of the things holding me back from adoption is that I miss the infant stage and, I have baby names picked out. I know silly reasons but thats what they are. I loved the feeling of KJ kicking in my belly. Not so much the being sick all day every day. I miss the snuggling while she eats, the watching her learn watching her explore the world. Helping her along the way. I LOVE being a mom and I LOVE the experience of it all. These are the reason I want to have an infant.
But there are so many kids that are already here that have been dealt a bad hand one way or the other and need something stable. We could give that to them. I would love to give a child a home and KJ a sibling. I think that we would be wonderful foster parents and if the chance came where we would get to make the child part of our forever family.
I know we just need to pray and feel it out. But I am a believer that God does not just give you the answer and set it in your lap. I think he helps and guides you, but you have to do the leg work. So any thoughts on this are welcome. Thanks!
Hey Karla, another thing to think about when considering Foster care is this: You don't always get to keep the kids you foster. Sometimes the families can be put back together and that is the number one goal. good luck with your life changing choices.
ReplyDeleteKarla, a couple of years ago, Spencer and I were going to do foster care. You have to take parenting classes. We were almost done. All we had left was the home study where they come in and check your house to make sure it is safe. We got done with the classes and decided not to do it. The classes will break your heart. I'm not telling you not to do it, because only you and Than can decide what's right for you, I'm just saying it is a very hard process. You'll cry during the classes. You'll want to just take home all the children you see and hear about. You'll be angry at all the parents who are doing this to their kids and who, it feels like it is so easy for them to get pregnant and they just screw it up. Becci's right, The number one goal is to reunite the parents and the kids, and that is something you also have to deal with, is being able to send them back to their parents even if you don't feel like they deserve them. You also have to meet with the parents once a week. You have to get permission to take the kids out of state. The main thing is giving them back after you have bonded with them, loved them, and taken care of them. We thought it was our chance to have a family, but it just wasn't right. The only thing I can tell you, is to PRAY!!! Heavenly Father is the ONLY ONE that knows what is right and what is not. If you've got insurance that will pay for infertility tests, then maybe you should try that. It all goes back to the prayer thing. Good luck with it all. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteWe started taking classes last year but I needed to be here for 5 years. I have gotten threw the fist 6 classes. They are tuff it is something we want to do I am just not sure when we will. I do hate that month after month I know we will not be expanding our family. I did run into some people at church today that have adopted and we are going to talk more about it later. Who knows. Like I said this blog is just a place to vent and get others thoughts. Thanks for always reading and leaving a comment . YOU ROCK!
I'm glad you are blogging again (and thanks for the heads up on facebook so I could find you!). That is a tough decision. I hope you get some direction. And did you say church in your last comment? Adoption through LDS family services is way more affordable. You pay on a sliding scale somewhere between $4-10K based on income and the amount is a tax credit!
ReplyDeleteHey Tobi,
ReplyDeleteWe looked into it a while ago. But the person I talked to said that because we already have a child we should not adopt threw them. But that was about 3 years ago. You also have to have a temple recommend. Than and I have not been active for quite some time and now attend a different church so that kinda throws a wrench in that idea. But thank you for your thoughts. You are a wonderful sister!